constantly praying

This week has been pretty crazy. Hopefully I can explain everything and it won’t get to long. Well last week I turned 21. For my birthday my parents took me to the Melting Pot for dinner! It was really really yummy. The dessert is my favorite part, of course. Then Friday night I was supposed to go out with all my friends, but of course the weather had to ruin all those plans, so we decided just to stay in and have a little party at the apartment. It was so much fun and I am actually really glad that we stayed in! I have some great friends and I honestly could not have asked for a better night. Well that was last week; this week has been a little overwhelming, especially these last couple days. Last year the doctor x-rayed my dad’s chest and found he had an aneurysm in one of his valves. Well the doctor did not think it was that serious last year, but it has gotten serious and he needed to get the ball rolling on getting his surgery done. Well he went to the hospital yesterday to do some tests and schedule his surgery, well the doctor decided to keep him. I headed over there after class and stayed until the surgeon showed up so I could hear what he said. What he said was making me nervous. He was telling my dad about all the risks that come along with this surgery, and at the very end he goes “Because of your age and since you waited so long to come in, there is a 10-15% chance of death.” I swear my heart stopped when I heard him say that. It really really did freak me out. When I left the hospital last night, I left thinking he would already be in surgery by the time I could make it to the hospital today and if something did happen to him, I wanted to make sure that I gave him a good enough goodbye (just in case) but I did not want to go over the top because I didn’t want him to catch on. I just knew I had to make sure he knew that I loved him. This morning the doctor ran some blood test and he was a little concerned with his kidneys so they did a 24 hour test. I am pretty sure he won’t have his surgery now until Monday morning (we think).

I honestly haven’t known what to do expect to turn this all over to God. Last night was really hard because I was so scared that I would never see my dad again and I just cried myself to sleep. I have been praying constantly today that God would just keep my dad’s body strong so that he can pull through this surgery and start feeling normal again. I know God is good and everything is going to be okay, I just wish I could know for sure!!! Who know getting older would be so hard……