Saturday, October 16, 2010

Still learning

Even though I'm 21, I'm still learning things about myself all the time. Last night, my mom and I got into a disagreement. When I get upset or angry, I just shut down. I don't talk, I don't do anything really. I guess that is my way of making sure the other person knows that I'm mad. I know I do it with Andrew every time I get mad at him. But, even if he has hurt my feelings, I still don't want to hurt his, and it never once occured to me that by shutting down and not speaking to him might actually be hurting his feelings.

Last night, after my mom and I disagreed, I didn't say another word to her and I just went to bed. I was obviously just thinking about myself and never once how I was making her feel. This morning I woke up and was still kinda hurt from last night and didn't really say much. After lunch, I found a letter my mom wrote and she explained to me that how I was acting was hurting her feelings and that she would never act like this towards me EVEN IF we did argue. That really opened my eyes not only with my relationship with my mom but with Andrew too. I know that not talking isn't going to solve anything any faster, its just immature. I hate when I hurt my mom's really does hurt my heart. And then, she apologizes that she hurt mine. Ugh, so of course that made me cry. I guess you learn as you grow and even in random moments, you can learn something about yourself that you never would have imagined. So here is to trying to stop acting so stupid if my feelings are hurt. I gotta talk it out.


  1. I learned that one too. Communication is key to any relationship. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is talk to someone who has hurt you or you're mad at, but it is the only thing that makes it better in the long run. I'm still learning so much about myself and am growing all the time. Looking back 5 years ago, it is amazing how much I have changed. I'm glad you and your mom were able to work things out. Take care :)

  2. I do that too. I completely shut down and don't say another word. I figure it's better to not say anything than to say something that would potentially hurt the other person. It definitely does not help though. I'm glad we're at least learning together :)



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