Saturday, July 31, 2010

Tears

Every cried so much, you don't know what it feels like to go a day without doing it? That is how I feel. This distance is really starting to get to me. Somedays, I honestly don't know how I've done it for 3+ years now. IT SUCKS! It never used to suck before, but it really does right now. I don't know what is wrong with me and why now it is just feeling so hard. It might be because there are so many things in my life that are changing. I just moved home, I start nursing school in 17 days, and I'm supposed to start soon (hey its my blog, I don't care). All of that combined is making me crazy. Well, that is what I'm assuming. It drives me crazy when I don't hear from Andrew often, and some days I feel like that makes me a psycho, but other days I feel like its just me being a girl. Is that too much to ask for? I feel like I put too much pressure on this relationship, but I don't know how not to. I feel like I expect too much, but is that a bad thing? I want to feel loved and I don't always feel like that. My heart really hurts right now...

I know I wrote the word "feel" about 50 million times, sorry

2 comments:

  1. Grrr, that's why it's SO hard with the USMC too, since you never know if it's your guy's choice of no contact or not!
    Even though I'm with Matt now and didn't have as long as you for the distance, going from an abusive relationship that was distance to the distance I had with Matt was tough too. REALLY made me not know if I was being crazy because of the douchebag ex, or if it was a true thing for me to be concerned about.
    Just keep your chin up, girl. You can do this!!!!! Buuuut, you TOTALLY have the right to bitch and whine and be lousy. Sometimes we just need that... as long as you get back up :) IM me anytime you need to vent!

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